Sponge bath it is.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
