Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
