When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
