my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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