I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm like, not good at living.
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