Are we in a gay sports bar?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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