I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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