Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize