He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize