Having a random hookup so left but love u
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
