Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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