hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
