Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
