i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i think i just lost a toe
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
