Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
