maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
