I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
