3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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