I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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