Kareoke will never be a sober sport
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
