There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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