Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
