we have officially lost it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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