At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
