i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
