I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
