you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
