i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
