As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
