you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
