break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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