Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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