He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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