He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
