I just pynch a tree in the face
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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