p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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