I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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