I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
