I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
