Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
