So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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