We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
