It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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