is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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