My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
