Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Bring me that man meat
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
