Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
