My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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