I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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