Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
