We won't sleep together?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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