It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
