There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
