i just google imaged poop.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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