Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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