So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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