check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
