Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
