ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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