Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
