so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
