Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
