i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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