Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
