how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
