did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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