this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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