I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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