hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
