Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
